The general rule for men in their 20's and 30's in the modern world is that they are completely dissatisfied with their lives. Many young men are depressed, lonely, and lost. Some of them know this and wish to turn their life around, but they don't even know where to start. It's difficult to change, you see, when you've been living a certain way for years, because after your way of life has become a deeply ingrained habit, you can't simply wake up one day and be a different person. Changing is a process that takes time, effort, and patience. However, it's also true that you don't need to change everything that you do overnight, as they are a few key habits that make all the difference.
Now I don't claim to have all the answers. At the end of the day, every man's situation is unique, and the things that might work for some may not work for others. But there are some things that are universally benefitial, and that 9 times out of 10 will be enough to kickstart a process of self improvement, growth, and positive change in a young mans life.
It starts with a choice
Every process of change begins with a conscious choice. Deciding to change is not enough to change, but it's a necessary first step. If you are somewhat dissatisfied with your life, look at yourself honestly and try to determine how you'd rather be. You need to visualize the state that you are trying to reach, so that you can devise a plan to make it happen. This is the first step. Then comes the hard work, which is quitting a few soul crushing habits and implementing some others. They are as follows.
Quitting porn has been called the rite of passage of the modern man (I don't remember where I read this, sorry). This is true. It seems as though one of the things that has made it very difficult for boys to become men is the overwhelming pornography addiction that plagues the world.
It is hard to describe just how much of an effect this disgusting habit has in the minds of men. A man consumed by the desires of his flesh is a man forever stuck in a vicious cycle of self destruction. It suffices to say that porn makes you weak in every possible way, and you absolutely need to quit for good. You probably know this as well. Not many men are proud of watching porn. Some are, and they are a sad sight to behold.
As to the how, it's not easy, but it's not impossible either. I myself have done this, as have many of the men that I'm proud to call my friends. Here's an article about how you can start.
I feel like a broken record, but the importance of this habit warrants repetition. GO TO THE GYM. You will not become the man you want to be if you do not do this. No matter how smart and rich you become. You have to go to the gym, you have to start lifting weights seriously, you have to start looking like a powerful, strong man. If you are reading this, I'm going to guess you spend some of your energy unwisely, and are looking for ways to change that. Start at the gym. All the energy that you currently spend doing useless stuff, use it in the gym. Not only will you stop wasting so much time doing things that don't benefit you, you'll also become a physical specimen in the process.
I don't care if you don't like the gym. I don't care if you find it boring. I don't care if you're more of a "cardio" guy. Lifting weights is your duty, so it's irrelevant whether you enjoy it or not. A man does what he has to do, not just what he "enjoys". Suck it up and do your duty.
Invest in yourself
Buy healthy food for yourself. Spend some money on books about various topics. Pay for a gym membership. Invest in some nice clothes. You will never make it to where you want to go if you are cheap and have a scarcity mindset. However small your income, you can start investing in yourself. The way you look and how you eat have massive impact on the way you feel and behave. Treat your physical and mental health seriously. Many men are clingy and deeply afraid of spending any money. Don't be one of them. Instead, learn how to spend. Instead of spending money on videogames, junk food, and streaming services, spend it on books, healthy food and a gym membership. It will cost around the same (or even less), and it will turn your life around.
Again, I know the money question can be overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be. I've also written an eBook about simple financial habits for men, which I highly recommend you check out. It's also around half price until tomorrow.
Your words create your reality. A negative mindset will undoubtedly breed a negative physical environment. If you are constantly complaining, as so many young men are, life will reward you with even more to complain about. Choose gratitude instead. This is probably the easiest habit of all. It only requires you to make a decision. Choose to be grateful, and anytime you find yourself complaining, you'll notice, and you'll be able to select a less entitled, more humble response. Deciding not to complain immediately puts your life back in your hands, as the only one responsible for your circumstances. Complaining is, in essence, assigning blame to others. And when you assing blame, you are giving the reigns of your life over to whoever you think is responsible for it. But no one else is responsible for you.
Stop complaining, then. Humbly accept the lessons of life and work hard to deserve better.
Organize your room
Yeah, I told you. This is basic stuff. You wouldn't be reading this article otherwise. I won't give you a magic spell to get out of whatever hole you might be in. It's not necessary either. You just need to get a few things right and you'll be put on the right path.
Which is why organizing your room is so important. It is a metaphor for organizing your whole life. The space you inhabit reflects the external circumstances of your life.
Clean your room, make your bed, throw the trash away. Organize your desk, and open the windows. If you are young, you probably don't own much space yet. But your room is yours. Make sure you tend to it. You'll be happier. You'll be more productive. You won't be so easily overwhelmed by circumstances. You'll be proud of how organized and clean your room is. Only then can you move on to larger things.
Remember, doing these things will put you on the right path, but they are not all that you need to do. This is a start, but you'll only get where you want to be if you make a commitment to perpetual improvement. Start here, then, but don't believe that this is enough. After you do the things I've suggested, that's when the true fun starts: the neverending and exponential process of growth.
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