The masculine essence is that of order. Archetypally. The King. The Patriarch. The Warrior. We are the ones that shape the world to our liking. We build structures, houses, monuments, from scratch. We use our hands to tame the world that we inhabit. We take all the chaos and turmoil that surrounds us and channel it into decisive, productive, directed action. That's no "social construct". That's you and me, at the deepest level. That's every man, across all cultures, whether he wants to or not. Order is masculinity. All of this potential to create, to build and to organize does not come freely, though. If we wish to fulfill the deepest desires of our soul when it comes to living life as it was meant to be lived, we must consciously decide to be representatives of masculine order, even when times get hard and chaos appears invincible. Especially at those times. Because that's when people will look around for a strong man to latch on to, one that can project security and order even when the world is burning to the ground. Your responsibility is to be that man.
It's not about being a robot
People's tendency to look at things as either black or white usually means that, when one suggests that men shouldn't be so emotional, one's words get misinterpreted and thought to mean that no man should express or feel any emotion, ever. Not true. Everyone feels stuff. Emotional strength doesn't mean being lifeless, but rather being able to control those emotions when they inevitably come, and being able to recognize when it is wise to show them, and when it's not. Emotional strength is merely wisdom.
It's a liitle bit about being a robot
However, emotional strength also means having thick skin and not letting every minor inconvenience disturb you emotionally. Life will always be full of discomforts, stresses, worries and challenges. Emotional strength means being able to brush aside those things that are irrelevant. Getting emotionally invested in EVERYTHING is not a wise strategy. Sticks and stones, you know. Fundamentally, you are the one that decides what you let get to you. You choose how much or how little mean words and difficult situations will hurt you. Build a tougher hide, and learn when and when not to express your emotions.
Fundamentally, you are the one that decides what you let get to you. You choose how much or how little mean words and difficult situations will hurt you. Build a tougher hide, and learn when and when not to express your emotions.
"It's okay for men to cry" has created a generation of emotionally unstable, weak, cry-babies. No, crying doesn't automatically make you a cry-baby. But crying, complaining, screaming and whimpering constantly about meaningless and trivial bullshit does. That's where we are now. No, it's not okay for men to cry. Not as a general rule. Crying should be the exception, reserved for truly tragic circumstances. And even then, you should be able to control yourself. There's a saying, which goes something like: "be the kind of man that people approach at a funeral" or something like that. Excuse me for paraphrasing (or butchering the saying), I couldn't find the exact quote. You get the point though. When emotions are running high and people are breaking down, they will need a strong man to hold on to. If that man is also breaking down, then guess what? Chaos ensues. There's no rock in the middle of the ocean. There's no lighthouse to guide those that are suffering. There's no oasis in the desert. You get the point. Your family needs you strong, composed and unshakeable.
Why is it your responsibility to endure the gruesome and tiresome task of being in control of your emotions? Why can't you just let them take you, as most people do? Because you are a man. And men have responsibilities, one of which is to provide security for your loved ones. Physical, and emotional security. Men running away from this particular responsibility and into the arms of hedonism and emotional overexpresion are what have led us to the shitshow that is now the west. The wise king, the moral patriarch are no more. But we're building back. Being emotionally strong is a necessary start. The world needs order. Embrace your masculine nature and provide it. Provide security and peace when everyone around is caught in a whirlwind of emotion.
That is what a man does.