The androgynous, inclusive, and delicate west has managed to infiltrate what were usually traditionally male groups with female participation, doing so in the name of equality and a poorly thought utopia. Groups that served as catalysts for masculine development have been sistematically eradicated. No more boy scouts. Military? Mixed. Boys became men largely because of these groups, where older, more experienced men could teach them how to act and how they could show themselves as men and where they could experience victory and defeat with a group of men of their same status. Now, males exist in a perpetual state of boyhood, because the rites of passage that ensured our development don't have a place anymore.
Boys need masculine guidance if they are to develop into healthy, strong, stable men. If society won't give us these spaces, we need to create them ourselves.
Women and men are not interchangeable
Equality is a lie. If you haven't realized that yet, you need to think a little harder. The point is that no amount of female companionship will replace a male friend, just as no amount of masculine brothers in arms will replace a wife, a mother or a sister. Men and women have different qualities, and they can add to your life in drastically different ways. You need both, and we find ourselves at a point in time where we have an overabundance of female energy and not enough male influence. Don't be fooled: too much female influence has played a big role in rendering men depressed and stressed out as a consequence of existing disconnected from their masculine nature. To reconnect with your true nature and save yourself from the dangers of emasculation, you need male bonds and deep, manly friendships.
What a man needs
Men need to be initiated into the way of men. This happens through the teachings and mentoring of older, more experienced men, but also through the accumulation of deep, significant experiences shared with his brothers.
Some of us were lucky enough to have both a wise, loving father and either brothers or good friends with whom we could grow as men together. I was one of those and I'll be eternally grateful. But this isn't the case for most men.
If you didn't have a father that you could learn from and who could show you the meaning of true manhood, you would benefit massively from finding a mentor, an older, wiser man who could take you under his wing and teach you the things he has learned.
But this article is about male friendships, and I believe those to be the most difficult to cultivate nowadays. We all make some good friends in school, and while teenagers, we grow up and navigate the path of manhood together. We fight, learn, explore, take risks, and talk about our issues. In the modern world, this is the peak of male friendships. Then, life happens. Everyone follow their own path. Everyone chooses to make their career their number one priority. Girlfriends and wives require attention and effort, and men let the friends that made them who they are be forgotten almost completely. Think about the men that you know. How many of them still have a solid group of friends whom they meet regularly? Not many. This is as much a consequence of the culture of individualism as of a lack of awareness regarding the importance of men having other men present in their life.
Hear me out: You need your male friends. And they need you. Be there for them. Seek them out. Don't think that they can be replaced by a good wife or even by your own sons. You need your peers.The ones that grew alongside you. The ones with whom you share stories and life experiences. The ones that saw you change and develop into the man that you are now.
Shared experiences
But you don't just need a group of friends to drink beer and tell jokes with. A group of men should exist in order to push each one of its members to realize his potential and become a man's man. You need your group of brothers to be commited to growth and development. This commitment needs to be complete and can't remain a discussion in the philosophical and intellectual plane. The bonds within men are strongest when they are created through shared experiences. Engage in masculine activities with your brothers: train martial arts, lift weights, explore, go into the wilderness, hunt, do all the things that you have to do to become a real man, and do it with your friends by your side. This will tighten the bonds between you and help both you and them become everything that a man should.
If you still remain in touch with your male friends, good for you. Lead them on, organize exclusively male activities where you can all grow together as men. This is your duty. If you are alone, find a group. A martial arts gym is a great place to start.
Whatever you do, make sure that you do not let yourself be devoid of male friendships. There is no more depressing life for a man than one in which he is alone in his masculinity. Put time and effort into reaching out to your friends, and help them understand that no amount of professional success, nor even a perfect wife will fill the void left by the lack of male friendship in a man's life.
Men need other men.
We all need eachother.
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